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It's Mother's Day for even BaD MoMMas "Benjamin's an amazing kid," a friend told me when Ben was about seven years old. "You must be a very good mother." "HA!" I barked an annoying laugh I inherited from my mother. "Benjamin, come over here." My freckle- faced, sweet little boy obeyed and walked to my side. "Ben, sweetie," I said to him, glancing at my friend, "If a stranger pulls up in a van and asks you to get in, what do you do?" "Get in," he said. "No, only if he…" "Offers me candy or a puppy," Benjamin replied. I told Benjamin he could go back to reading his book and he walked away. My friend's mouth hung open and her face was pale. "Oh stop," I said. "I'm just kidding." That's kind of my motto, "I'm just kidding," and I'm kidding pretty much all of the time. Some might think that's irresponsible parenting. But when you only have one kid, you have to squeeze as much enjoyment out of the experience as you can. Maybe if I had multiple kids, I'd be a more serious guardian, molding them into responsible human beings and making them learn Chinese. Most likely, I'd experiment and make one learn Chinese, let another one live in a fort he built in the family room, and tell the third he was adopted even if he wasn't. I'd add, of course, that he was born from my heart so he wouldn't feel bad. Then when he turned 18 and expressed an interest in finding his birth parents I'd say, "I was just kidding," and we'd laugh about it. Actually, that last one sounds like a good idea for something to do with Benjamin… Some argue that I'm a bad momma from the way I've raised Ben. But he's turning out to be a pretty good kid, except he wants to be a lawyer when he grows up. And a stand up comedian. I just hope he doesn't talk about me. Or sue me. Whatever happens, being a bad momma works for us. I don't suggest you try anything I've done on your own child. If you do, you might end up with an amazing kid like I did but, more likely, you'll create a serial killer. I think I just got lucky. ~ Courtney Image Up Advertising & Design and the Yucaipa Chamber of Commerce accept no responsibility for content, accuracy or opinion, expressed or implied, of articles, announcements or advertisements in this magazine. Inclusion of advertisements does not carry with it any endorsement, actual or implied, for the product or service advertised. Image Up Advertising & Design and the Yucaipa Chamber of Commerce do not accept responsibility or liability for damage occasioned through use of products or services advertised herein. All items submitted are subject to editing and are not guaranteed to be printed per the discretion of the publisher. Contents of this magazine, including all text and photographs, are protected by copyright and may not be reproduced or reprinted without the expressed permission of Image Up Advertising & Design and/or the Yucaipa Chamber of Commerce. "Our Yucaipa" © Submission Policy We're looking for fun, interesting and heart- warming stories about life in Yucaipa. If you've been here for generations or are fairly new, we invite everyone to share. We're accepting photos and articles about events from 100 years ago to events from last week. And if you have something planned for next month, let us know. We'd love to help you promote it. Yucaipa really is a great place to live and this is one way to acknowledge that. This is our publication about our town… Our Yucaipa. If you have any questions, or would like more information about advertising in "Our Yucaipa," please call Courtney Taylor at 909-797-3647 or e-mail YucaipaNews@yahoo.com. And be sure to go to imageup.uberflip.com to see all the issues on line. "Our Yucaipa" Invites You… 2 OUR YUCAIPA | MAY 2014 OUR YUCAIPA | MAY 2014 3 Contents Yucaipa summers bring visitors. YUCAIPA PHOTOS WANTED! If you have a photo you'd like to submit for consideration for a future cover, please send high-res digital photos to YucaipaNews@yahoo. com. If we select your photo for the cover, you will receive a $25 gift card for a local restaurant. Editor/Publisher Courtney Fox Taylor Assistant Editor Emily Isaak Contributing Writers Jaelin Palmer Michele Peters Randy Peters Yucaipa Chamber of Commerce Account Executive Stacey Parr Staff Photographer Hilary Peters If you have suggestions or would like to submit an article to Our Yucaipa, call Image Up at 909-797-3647. Our Yucaipa Magazine 4-7 Chamber Of Commerce News Business news around town 8-9 Yucaipa Music & Arts Festival Plan a weekend of fun in town 10 Yucaipa Welcomes Winery Suveg Cellars opens its doors 11 Iris Festival Fun with flowers 12 Crafton Hills College Students earn prestigious scholarships 13 Relay for Life Yucaipa team needs you 14 Middle of the Road Mother's Day evolution 10. Benjamin was not a star player in Little League so when he'd step up to the plate, I'd yell, "Lean into the pitch!" because I knew that getting a walk to first was the only way he'd get there. 9. I gave birth to him on Christmas Day so he's basically never going to have a real birthday party at Dave & Busters with his friends on the day of his birth. 8. When he was little, I'd get him two balloons. The first one I would pop if he acted up. POP! "If you (insert offense here) again, the other balloon gets it." 7. I've let him watch stand-up comedy since he was little, even the blue stuff. I figure funny trumps inappropriate. 6. When he was five, I bought him his first pair of flip-flops which he wore out of the store. Five minutes later, he was whining that he couldn't walk in them. I told him he'd get used to them. He burst into tears and threw himself on the ground making me so mad that I took the shoes off of him and tossed them in the trash. 5. When he was a baby and we were driving somewhere and he'd cry (with the screaming cry that made my ears bleed), I'd roll the windows down so the blowing would make him close his mouth. 4. We were staying at a hotel in Palm Springs when Ben was about seven. We were sitting by the pool and some drunk young woman went to her window and flashed everyone at the pool. Ben said, "When I'm sad, this will be the day I remember." 3. I sing and dance when he's in the car with me. Yes, I do it when I'm in the car alone too, but especially when he's in the car with me. 2. He was six and I tucked him in one night, then went to his closet, opened it up just a crack, and said, "Goodnight, Bogeyman." 1. I put this picture below: Top Ten Reasons I'll Never Win Mother of the Year

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