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Our Yucaipa November 2014

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As Thanksgiving approaches, we're called upon to have an attitude of gratitude. It's something I've tried to instill in my son and I'm close to throwing in the towel. Here are real conversations I've had in the past month with my 14-year-old, Benjamin: Ben: "I was in class today and they had a police officer come in and talk to us about school safety. He asked everyone who had a smart phone to raise their hand. It was so embarrassing to be the only kid with his hand down." Me: "So what did you learn from the police officer?" Ben: "That I'm the only kid who doesn't have a smart phone." Me: "You have a flip phone and never use it. Why would I get you a smart phone?" Ben: "I can't do anything on that phone." Me: "You can use it as a phone." Ben: "You just don't get it." Ben: "I need a basketball for practice." Me: "You have one. We just got you one at Wal-Mart and it cost $60. Play with that one." Ben: "That's the good one. I can't play with that one." Ben: "If you let me keep Doug (the dog he found in April), I promise to walk him every day." Me: (Every day) "You need to walk Doug." Ben: "I'm conserving my energy for basketball." Me: "YOU NEED TO WALK DOUG!" Ben: "Why are you flipping out?" Ben: "When are we going to go shopping for new jeans for me?" Me: "When the weather cools down. It's been 90 degrees since spring." Ben: "Okay - I'll just order some online. What's your Amazon password?" Ben: "What's for dinner?" Me: "I've been cooking all day… I made a practice Thanksgiving turkey with all the fixings!" Ben: "Never mind. I'm not hungry." Ben: "Can we go to Staples and get me some mechanical pencils for school?" Me: (opening a drawer) "I have at least fifty pencils right here. All you have to do is sharpen them." Ben: "Those don't work." Ben: (After 10 minutes of staring into the pantry) "There's nothing to eat in this house." Me: "I can cut up an apple for you. Or I can make you a ham sandwich. We also have leftover turkey and those good rolls." (Blank look from Ben.) "How about some soup?" Ben: "Are you ever going to go grocery shopping?" Ben: "The iPhone 6 is really amazing. It has a battery that lasts longer than any other phone and I promise not to go over my data plan like I did before." Me: "Okay. I got you an iPhone 6." Ben: "Really?!? You've made my life!" Me: (Handing him a picture of an iPhone 6 I cut out of a magazine.) "Here. You should practice with this first — get used to the size. Be careful not to get a paper cut on your face, though." Ben: "You're so mean." Ben: "Proactiv doesn't work on me." Me: "Do you use it twice a day like the instructions say?" Ben: "No." Me: "Why not?" Ben: "Because it doesn't work." Ben: "I need basketball socks." Me: "That's not a thing." Ben: "Yes it is. They keep your feet dry." Me: "Normal socks do that." Ben: "But basketball socks do it better. Look, I found some online. They're only $14 a pair." Me: "A PAIR? If I spent $14 on a pair of socks, I should be put on a psychiatric hold." Ben: "I'll use my money." Me: "Where do you get your money? You get your money from me! IT'S ALL MY MONEY!" Ben: "Why are you flipping out?" Ben: "When I grow up, I'm going to make my kids work for everything they have." Me: "That's a good idea. Do you think I should make you work harder for what you have?" Ben: "No. I'm starting that with my kids, not me." I hope his kids are just like him. That would be excellent revenge. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 2 OUR YUCAIPA | NOVEMBER 2014 ~ Courtney Attitude of gratitude in a teenager? That's not a thing.

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