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My son Benjamin and I were having lunch at Tam's a few weeks ago. We were in a booth and an older man in a motorized scooter sat at a table with his wife. In the corner booth behind us was a family - two adults and four young children. There were other diners, of course, and Benjamin and I were chatting about the price of tea in China while waiting for our burgers. Along with the noise from the kitchen, the normal din filled the restaurant. The kids behind us were laughing and bouncing around, then one of them let out a sharp, piercing squeal. We've all heard it. A happy child made an outside noise while inside. Several patrons looked up and raised their eyebrows and smiled. I turned to Ben and said, "You could scream much louder when you were little. My ears would bleed. In fact, I think your screaming as a baby made a neighbor move away in the middle of the night." It was a moment that happens every day — a little kid made a big noise in a public place. Our burgers arrived and we started eating. The couple at the table was done and the wife was walking out when I noticed the man turn his scooter around to face the table. What he said shocked everyone in the restaurant. "You shouldn't take children out in public if they're going to make noise. When my kids were young, they would have NEVER done what your child did," he spit at the adults. Then he turned to the child, and through clenched teeth said, "You should be ashamed of yourself. You ruined my day." My mouth fell open. The man spun his scooter back around and zipped out of Tam's. Everyone in the restaurant was frozen, watching him go. I stood up and went to the booth behind me, knowing that some of that venom had to be diluted. "Wow," I said to the adults, "that was really bizarre. I didn't think the scream was that bad. In fact, I was telling my son his scream was much worse. It probably would have ruined that man's life." Then to the little girl, I said, "Some people are very unhappy on the inside so they take it out on people around them, wanting to get rid of it by making other people unhappy. I feel sorry for people who are that sad." The adults thanked me and said they were just as surprised as I was. I went back to finish lunch. Before we left, a few other patrons approached their table and expressed similar thoughts. It occurred to me that day how powerful words are and, in a brief instant, can cause a lot of damage. The little girl is fine, I'm sure, but seriously? Telling a three-year-old she "ruined" your day? Really? It's a careless choice of words. If the scream made you lose your train of thought and maybe, by some miracle, you were thinking of a cure for cancer — then I guess you could say she "ruined" your day. Or if this was your last burger EVER because you were going to be executed later that day and you just wanted a nice, quiet meal, she may have "ruined" it. But then don't go to a public place for your last meal. To be honest, people who's days can be ruined so easily shouldn't take their scooters out in a setting where they don't have total and complete control over everything and everyone around them. And whatever happened to "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?" I get worried about the trajectory we're on as a society when I read online comments to blogs, videos, news stories, even photos. The comments, by and large, are mean. Really mean. Vicious in fact. It's like the commenter doesn't realize there's a human being with feelings attached to the post. The more we get used to detaching emotion from what we're thinking and saying, the closer we get to losing our humanity. I don't think that's what was going on with Unhappy Scooter Man. I think he was just a bitter old man who needs to order food in from now on. But we do need to realize how powerful words can be. They can inspire great things… Martin Luther King, Jr.'s I Have A Dream speech, Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, The Diary of Anne Frank, The Bible. They can also destroy, inspire hatred and evil… think how powerful the words of Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson, and Osama Bin Laden were in front of the right (or wrong) people. I love reading or hearing something that changes my thinking and inspires me to be a better person. Saying that one thing that can inspire someone else is an amazing feeling too. And it can be the smallest thing — telling someone they have beautiful eyes or that you like their smile. It's so easy to do and can make all the difference to someone who needs that little ray of sunshine. 2 OUR YUCAIPA | JANUARY 2015 ~ Courtney P.S. You are lovely. Unhappy Scooter Man's Day Ruined by Toddler

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