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28 | OHCC LIVING | JUNE 2020 | Well, since nobody played and no holes in one and no tournaments with booze and hot dogs and no nothing, it is up to me to entertain you with this month's column. Start with a joke, Hal: OK, so there was this guy on his way to his golf game and as he passed through the hallway he saw his wife stark naked standing before the full length mirror. He was going to walk right on by, but she stopped him and said, "Honey, I am just falling apart, droopy and wrinkled, blotchy and no waist, just an old hag"… "I feel so bad." The husband said, "Well there is one thing you can be very proud of darling… the fact that you have such amazing eyesight," as he walked out the door. He thought about going back in for an instant until he heard the deadlock click from the inside. He then thought, boy, it is sure going to be difficult to find an open motel with this coronavirus thing. OK, good start. I wanted to publicly thank a person who is always there for us. Patti Smith. She takes our pictures and sends them to us without ever being asked. She is a treasure for our OHCC activities. Whatever is going on, she is there with her trusty camera. And, I must say, I have seen some doozies from our dances, parties, tournaments and just about anything that is going on. Thanks Patti. Now for the real news. As you have heard, OHCC golfers are getting tired of being home without golf. I mean, that is why we moved here. So we are now in the process of contacting the Mayor of Oceanside, the County Supervisor, our own Board, and each other. Someone here probably knows the Governor, State Senator, and the federal members of Congress. So we can assume they have been contacted too. By the time you get this we will probably be playing again. I say that because the deadline for getting my words in is the 6th of the month and you don't get this until the end of the month. I actually know this is not a "news" magazine, but more of a "what did I miss or who did what". LOL. OMG… Action: The golf peeps are also organizing a protest. Driving their golf carts around the main drag and Arcadia Way to protest and ask for the golf course back. Whoops! Hold that thought. The golf gals and guys have just canceled the "protest." Seems the city and county elected officials have felt the heat and are promising positive results. Stay tuned. Ah, a thaw… people can now walk on the course and enjoy the outdoors to their hearts content. Well that is after they observe the 12 no and don't rules. But still great news. OMG, things change fast… don't walk as there are now golfers out there as all the work has paid off but not for the walkers… and one can now, after observing the 12 don'ts, do, and no rules play golf. But whatever you do, don't walk the golf course. Play it only. Read the rules. I have included three pics of young kids interested in golf. Now, I have friends that say "when it comes to people, I am color blind." That's nice but it means they won't be able to pick out young Tiger Woods in this threesome. The other kids are Mulvey's grandkid and a young Phil Mickelson. Which is which? Hope you enjoyed the joke and are back on the course swearing and breaking clubs like in the old days. Keep safe. Hal Stephens at bbopalua@yahoo.com. Golf Club Just in case: Check with your club contact to confirm meeting place, date, and time.