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FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | APRIL 2021 43 Writers' Club Golf Hazards Golfers head to the course for an enjoyable day of fun and relaxation. While water hazards and bunkers present obvious obstacles, one's bad habits make it even more challenging. I've witnessed grown men turn into complete crybabies; one of our friends stomped off after a trying hole and went home. It's just a game, people! My challenges have more to do with "situations" that occur while at the course. Once, my husband Mike and I were heading off to play a round with business clients. I was shuffling to our cart like Mr. Tudball on The Carol Burnett Show. Mike's narrowed eyes in his unsmiling face begged an explanation. I said, "I'm trying to keep my shoes on. When I polished them, I washed the laces but forgot to put them back in." Shaking his head, he mumbled, "Only you. Nobody else would take them out and wash them." Witnessing my dilemma, a female employee hurriedly removed the laces from her sneakers and handed them over. Crisis averted. Another day, while our foursome was finishing up on the seventh green, the impatient group following behind hit right into us, namely, me. Getting hit by the dimpled flying object has left me with Golf PTSD. I drive my husband crazy with my paranoia. Usually, men are all over tarnation looking for their shot. The time spent locating balls triggers my PTSD as the players behind us grow increasingly closer. While on the fairway or the green, I continually glance over my shoulder and rush him through each hole. It's not very relaxing — more like a game of speed golf. Brenda, my good friend, understands my anxiety because she was the recipient of a Nike projectile at a golf scramble. We all know scramble recruits can be novice, intoxicated, or both. Brenda takes everything that happens in stride. One day I was the cart driver, and she sat beside me sporting her new golf outfit. We were chatting away until our vehicle's wheels disappeared into the swampy ground. As I gave it some gas to get out of the brown muck, the gooey residue spewed all over us and the cart. She kindly refused the replacement outfit I offered. I must caution the ladies to check the outdoor restrooms for slithering reptiles before pulling down that skort. That's another story for another time. Club contacts: andreazehner20@gmail. com or mlarchibald@mac.com. ~ Andrea Zehner While everyone continues to struggle with the pandemic and associated social issues, the Rainbow Group remains optimistic that we will soon be able to resume much of our lives as before. There are sure to be differences, but we will still support the Four Seasons LGBT community and our neighbors as best we can. We have been reminded that our friendships are vital to all of us. We have enjoyed a couple of Zoom virtual meetings. We will update the Rainbow Group Facebook page and email list with any late breaking developments or announcements of a Zoom meeting. Since it is unlikely that we will be able to meet anytime soon, we may schedule another Zoom meeting in April, so stay tuned for that update. We hope this finds our members, friends, and families safe, healthy, and doing well. We look forward to seeing everyone again soon. For any information, please contact Dale at (951) 797-0364. ~ Dale Beckes Rainbow Group

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