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FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | OCTOBER 2021 53 Bereavement Group This is going to be a much more personal article than I usually write for this column. But I feel the need to explain the changes that are occurring with this group. When I moved to Four Seasons Beaumont in 2010, I had lost five members of my small family of origin in the previous three years. And then my dear husband most unexpectedly had a heart attack and died right in front of me. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with grief, but I finished the move he and I were in the middle of. And so I came to Four Seasons Beaumont and began my new life on a new path, no longer a wife, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, a daughter, a great-aunt. I struggled with loneliness and loss, but I knew some things that helped me heal. My second career was as a psychotherapist, a counselor. And I knew that the feelings I was having were normal, just part of being human. I knew to rely on the love and help offered to me by my dear friends and remaining family members. And most important of all, I knew not to judge my feelings, just to have and/or endure them. So I did not indulge in negative self-talk such as "you idiot, are you crying again!" or "why don't you want to go to the party? Are you going to hide out forever?" I loved and supported myself. And little by little I got better. I wasn't as lonely, I didn't cry as much, and I was able to reach out to neighbors and others who lived in this beautiful community. I read an article in the local newspaper about two women who had been facilitating a bereavement group in the Pass area for years and about their desire to help others start similar groups. I tucked the article in a safe place and when I felt ready, I called and asked for help to start a my own group in Four Seasons Beaumont. I wanted to give back. Now I had my own experience with grief and healing and I knew how to facilitate groups. I had been doing it for years, although I was very aware that this new endeavor was not a therapy group. So with help from management I went through the process of starting a new group, ending with approval from the Board of Directors. This was in 2013, and I have been facilitating this group since then. What a loving and enriching experience it has been. Now I am faced with new challenges. I have developed a physical illness which has resulted in my inability to show up every week for group. But things work out. One of the members of the group, Becky KB, has been a social worker for 40 years, and she has stepped up to lead the group when I have been unable to. Recently we decided that it was not helpful to anyone to have me in and out of group, with Becky leading one week, and me the next, repeatedly. So we have come to an agreement. I will step away until the end of 2021, Becky will take over as leader, and we will evaluate when 2022 begins. The current group members have been advised and are fine with the change. And I am so grateful that I can leave to take care of myself and not worry about the group. So please, if you have suffered a loss and want help dealing with your pain and with walking your new path, do considering joining Becky and this supportive and caring group. They meet on Mondays at 1 pm in RCN Room 3. You can just walk in, or you can call Becky at (951) 524-0215 or email her at beckykg_@yahoo.com. All contact is confidential. ~ Laurie Larson Zeldin

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