COMMUNITY BULLETIN BOARD | THE COLONY NEWS | DECEMBER 2021 | 23
You may want to keep this with you during the holidays…
Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing about Christmas spirit. In fact, if
you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're
serving rum balls.
Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You
cannot find it any other time of year, so drink up. Who cares
that it has 10,000 calories in every sip?
If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point
of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on.
As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim
milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like
buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas
party is to eat good food. Lots of it.
Under no circumstances should you exercise, starting about
now until after New Year's. You can do that in January when you
have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table.
If you come across something really good at a buffet table,
like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa,
position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many
as you can. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave
them behind, you're never going to see them again.
Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of
each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one
pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have
more than one dessert?
Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with
the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I
mean, have some standards.
One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Re-read tips and start over, but hurry – January is just around
the corner!
Guide to Holiday Eating
