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FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | NOVEMBER 2024 49 Life After Loss The holidays. They speak to us of the annual seasonal milestones we have shared with family and friends. Whether celebrated as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Ramadan, or Kwanza, their arrival is difficult for people who have experienced the death of a loved one. Once brimming with excitement and anticipation, they are now fraught with anxiety and apprehension. But for the griever as well as supportive family/friends, there are a number of practical ways to plan successfully for the holidays. Acknowledge the reality. The holiday season will be emotionally painful. Pretending that you don't hurt or that it's not a harder time of the year is just not realistic. Despite how you may feel, try to avoid being reactive where you are "guilted into attending an event" or even "canceling" the holidays. Instead, proactively balance your need for solitude and grieving with some planned social activities. Set realistic expectations. Decide if you can handle past responsibilities and expectations as they once were. Accept others offers to help. Consider shopping by the Internet if you feel a need to avoid memories. In your own time, you will learn how to develop different holiday rituals and traditions. Take care of yourself. Avoid using alcohol or prescription drugs to self-medicate your mood. Try to avoid the hustle and bustle of the season. Physical exercise is often an antidote for depression. Writing in a journal can be a good outlet for your grief. Give yourself permission to buy something meaningful. Surround yourself with people. Share your plans with family and friends and let them know in advance of changes in your emotional boundaries and holiday routines. Educate them. Make specific plans and obtain the support you need. Allow yourself to feel emotion and grieve. Recognize that every family has their own unique grief experience. You will feel both joy and sorrow. This is the reality of the human experience. Experiencing joy and laughter during a time of grief does not mean you have forgotten your loved one. Both emotional realities can be true. REMEMBER — There is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holiday season following the death of a loved one. The best coping mechanism is to plan ahead, get the support of others and pace yourself emotionally. The Life After Loss Group is about "people helping people" who have encountered any form of grief/loss in their life. Should you desire a deeper understanding of what it means to live a more meaningful "life after loss" we invite you to join us. Unless otherwise notified, we meet the first and third Mondays of each month from 1 to 3 pm in RCN Room #3. All information is kept confidential. If you have experienced a form of grief/loss and would like to join the group, please text/call Byron Thomsen beforehand at (909) 936-7097 OR email him at byron.thomsen@yahoo.com. ~ Byron omsen In October, the ladies of "Believe…" Women's Bible Study had a wonderful treat: two members of the class presented one lesson each, in consecutive weeks, on the Book of Jeremiah. Many thanks to Debbie Benson and Karen Evans for their study, commitment, and sharing in preparing for and presenting these lessons. We are thankful for each of you! The Book of Jeremiah has been such a blessing to study. Since Jeremiah was called by God to be a prophet before he was even conceived, he became exactly the prophet that God said he would be — as well as a spiritual giant. God put His own words in Jeremiah's mouth, and commanded him to speak them to the people of Judah and Benjamin. The people, however, did not want to hear the messages from God, through Jeremiah, and sought to harm and even kill him. God told Jeremiah, however, when he first called him as a prophet, that God would protect him the entire time, which He did. Our hearts go out to the difficult, albeit impossible task given to Jeremiah to encourage these hard-hearted people to repent and return to the only true God. In meditating on these chapters and verses, I personally felt the pain that God felt, the frustration, the anguish, and yes, even the anger. The Hebrew people, who He always loved and chose as His first-fruits, had turned their backs on Him. I so identify (in a lesser degree) with how our amazing God must have felt. If any of you beautiful Four Seasons women would be interested in studying the Book of Jeremiah with us, please bring your Bible any Friday from 10:30 to 11:45 am to The Lodge Game Room and meet the most amazing and godly women who live right here in our Four Seasons community! We hope you'll take this challenge! ~ Eileen Gilbert-Antoine, (951) 922-6829 or egcellent@msn.com "Believe …" Women's Bible Study The Tile Project has both good and bad news. Since the concrete pad will be real property within the HOA, the lawyers have determined that the contracts for both the pad and the coating should be with the HOA, not the Club. This change is causing several weeks delay. Also, the concrete contractor cannot start work before November. The delay and the onset of winter weather have pushed the dedication to spring. We are now looking at May 17, 2025, which is Armed Forces Day, for the formal dedication. Sales of the engraved tiles will continue into 2025 but veterans who have not bought their tile are encouraged to purchase one now. ~ Len Tavernetti, ltavernetti@hotmail.com FS Veterans Club

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