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36 FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | OCTOBER 2014 | CLUBS & GROUPS We are continuing our informal social evenings. We hope this will allow as many of our LGBT neighbors and friends, and their friends, to get together with us. Our next social will be on Thursday, Oct. 23. Let's gather in the courtyard area outside Smitty's about 6 pm, order whatever dinner items you wish and then enjoy each other's company and conversation while having dinner on the patio. Should you wish to enjoy your own beverages, please feel free to bring whatever you desire. If you have any questions, please call/email Dale at (951) 797-0364 or dbeckes@dc.rr. com; or Barbara at (951) 845-6246; email Barbara at bamerton@alumni.ucla.edu. You may also sign up on the interest group clipboard at the Lodge. ~ Dale Beckes Rainbow Group We have been rehearsing for a month now. We've brushed up on some favorite holiday songs and are well on our way to learning some new ones for the enjoyment of all who attend the holiday shows the first weekend of December. While we are doing this we are stimulating our sacculus, the little organ in the inner ear. This organ responds to frequencies commonly found in music and is connected to the part of the brain responsible for registering pleasure. So as soon as we start rehearsing we start finding the experience enjoyable and get a release of good old pleasure-giving endorphins. We get a sense of happiness, our mood lifted and an anti-depressant with no unpleasant side effects. We are having fun! We meet on Mondays from 3 to 5 pm in the Ballroom. For further information, you can contact Barbara Wasco (951) 797-3466 or email bawasco@dc.rr.com. ~ Barbara Wasco Four Seasons Singers If you want to lose weight or just would like to live a healthier lifestyle, TOPS (Take off Pounds Sensibly) is a great group to help motivate you and cheer you on along on your way to your goal. TOPS is very affordable ($28 per year membership and $3 per month chapter dues). If you would like to give it a try we meet in the Ballroom on Tuesday mornings with weigh-in from 8 to 8:30 am The meeting runs from at 8:30 to 9:30 am. For more info., call Cathy Calhoun, Four Seasons resident and leader, at (951) 849-2614 or Rosalee Strong, Area Captain, at (951) 845-9313. ~ Cheryl Burke TOPS It is unfortunate that bereavement groups get such a bad rap. A lot of people have approached me to ask about our group. Some of them have participated in bereavement groups before and simply want to share their experience, but many want to let me know that they think the group is a great idea, just not for them because they are "not that weak." I find that sad. Because of a misconception about personal strength and feelings, a number of people deprive themselves of an amazing experience. We join groups, both formal and informal, throughout our lives. As parents, we are proud when our offspring join girl scouts or boy scouts. We're happy when they play team sports, or join a choir, or play in a band or orchestra. We participate in PTA, teach Sunday school, play cards with friends. We practice yoga together. We join Weight Watchers or TOPS. And why? Because we are unhappy about something, in this case our bodies, and we want to join with people who can share our pain or discomfort, who won't be judgmental, and who can learn new ways to think and behave in order to improve our lives. And we find that perfectly acceptable. But substitute the word 'bereavement' for 'weight loss' and everything changes. Now we are weak instead of motivated. Now we are ashamed of our feelings instead of proud of our courage. Now we are worried about sharing family secrets instead of pleased that our experience may help others. Think about it. And if you have experienced a loss that is causing you unhappiness, come join us. You will find like minded people who will not judge you, who will welcome you and cheer your progress. And you will help them, too. That's what can be so great about a group. It's a place where we can share of ourselves in order to grow and to watch others grow with us. Isn't that a terrific concept? We meet in the Arts and Crafts Room at the Lodge on Mondays from 1 to 3 pm. For more information call me at (951) 922-0934 or email lauriemlarson425@gmail.com. All contact is confidential. ~ Laurie Larson Bereavement Group

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