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OUR YUCAIPA | JANUARY 2015 11 The Middle of the Road: By Randy Peters, a middle-aged, middle-income, middle-school teacher Here we are once again in January. A new year. A new beginning. A new chance to do all those things we know we should and have been told to do. Well, not me. I don't need anything else to do. I just don't want to do anything else. In fact, there are a lot of things I do now that I don't want to do any more. I can probably get away with not doing some of these things. Some would be noticed by others. It might actually put burdens on others. Should I care? Sometimes I feel like I should stomp my foot like a spoiled 7-year-old and say, "No! I don't wanna!" Here are some things I just don't like doing. Every six months I go get my teeth cleaned. It's not a horrible appointment. I like the hygienist that has been working on me for the last 20+ years. But what I don't like is that she makes me lie to her. "Are you flossing, Randy?" she asks me every time I see her. I don't want to disappoint her. So I dance around her question. "I'm not real consistent," I tell her. What I want to say is, "No, I don't floss. It is five minutes of my daily life I will never get back. That's 25.2 days in the last 20 years!" I don't like lying to her. I think she knows I'm lying, but I do it anyway. I need to stop. Another thing I don't like doing is looking at my check book balance. It's not going to change anything. As the month progresses all it does it get smaller. You don't get any extra cash by looking at it. It's like looking in the refrigerator when you're hungry hoping that you missed something earlier that will hit the spot. As the days go on, looking at the declining balance in my checking account just reminds me of limitations. I'm not usually a half-empty- glass kind of guy, so I need to ignore the checkbook balance and stop looking. Another daily routine that I would like to stop is shaving. Why is shaving so important? Who said that men have to have a smooth face? Jesus, Santa, and Brad Pitt are allowed to have stubble. Why do I have to lather up, contort my face, and scrape a piece of shrapnel across my neck every morning? I had a mustache and goatee for a while. That was worse. You had to keep everything trimmed and shaped properly. And people looked at you funny when you carry food crumbs in it. I just want to let go. I wasn't born with a razor. Why should I have to use one now? Why do I have to keep my car serviced? Why can't they make a car that has all the parts able to work for the life of the car? Sometimes when I'm driving, a little light will go on. My first thought is to wonder what is wrong with the light. Why is it on? If I hit the dashboard, will it go off? When I reach my destination, I sigh a little when I turn off the engine. I made it and nothing blew up. Then I cross my fingers when it's time to start the engine again hoping the little light doesn't go on. Hoping it was a figment of my imagination. Hoping that if the light does go on, it won't be something I have to deal with and deplete whatever I have on that checkbook balance I still don't want to check. I currently have a nail in one of my tires. Recently the car was parked near a store when a Good Samaritan left a note on the windshield telling me about the nail. I didn't see the nail so didn't have to deal with it. The tire was full – no worries. A couple of days ago I saw the nail. Darn it! So do I have to deal with it now? I'm not a horse person. But if I was, I would think it would be easier to ride a horse around town. Is it? They don't have little lights that go on. So, this year, if you see a scruffy man spending money like it's the beginning of the month, with plaque building up between his teeth, and riding a horse around town, please take a moment to wave and say a prayer that his wife remains understanding. Keep your eyes on the road. Too Many Items On My TO-DO List