Issue link: https://imageup.uberflip.com/i/450275
We took a family trip to New York a couple of years ago. Of course, we did all the touristy things — went to the Empire State Building, the 9/11 Memorial, Times Square — but the one memory that really sticks out is when we went to dinner one night. It was a lovely restaurant on the Hudson River and the food was excellent, although I don't recall exactly what we had. What I do remember is looking over at the table next to us where a family of four was sitting. Mother, father, and two teenage kids were all holding a phone, absorbed in whatever was on their individual screen. When the food came, they ate while still staring at the devices. No one spoke the entire meal. It made me sad. I know, they were probably locals and ignoring the ambiance in a nice New York restaurant, missing the snow falling softly outside the window, wasn't a big deal for them. The big deal was that they were ignoring each other. As the mother of a teenager, I know how quickly time passes. Every parent says this, but it seems like just yesterday he was asking his father and me to swing him as he held our hands. Now he won't even walk with us. Sadly, this New York family isn't unique. You see people everywhere interacting more with their phones or tablets than the world around them or the people near them. They're not engaged in the present, they're not making memories, they're not present in their lives. People are more absorbed with a parallel world filled with angry birds, clashing clans or Facebook "friends," most of whom probably wouldn't recognize them in person. I'm not innocent of this offense. It's an easy surrender to make. The games pass idle time and Facebook "connects" me to friends. All the while, time slips by and my son grows up and away. It's easier to justify when everyone is on board with the charade that is this new "life." Kids have their devices to distract them while mom and dad have theirs. If everyone is okay with it, then it's okay. Right? Unfortunately, the technology is evolving so rapidly, we have no idea exactly what our children are exposed to. I've devoted this month's issue of Our Yucaipa to this troubling issue. Believe it or not, the situation is more dire than missing out on life. It has led to hundreds of teen suicides. There are sites that are filled with cyberbullies where the filter of polite society is a distant memory. Read the comments on almost any article or video on the Internet and you'll see what I mean. People spew venom not caring what consequences may come. The following quote concerns an app called Ask.Fm, and is from article published Aug., 2013 in the online magazine TechCrunch: "In December, 16-year old Floridian Jessica Laney was found dead in her home after bullying on Ask.fm — one commenter had even asked "can you kill yourself already?" Others had called her "fat" and "a loser." Fifteen-year-old Ciara Pugsley of Dromahair, Ireland, who played sports and loved her pony Basil, was taunted by anonymous posters on the site who called her "slut" and "ugly." She took her own life in September 2012. Fifteen-year old Canadian teen Amanda Todd committed suicide in October, after online and offline bullying, and blackmail over inappropriate photos. Thirteen-year old Erin Gallagher, who faced vicious bullying about her weight and looks, committed suicide the next month. Then her sister Shannon, who missed Erin deeply, also took her life in December 2012, extending that family's personal tragedy. "Each news outlet retold these families' personal devastations as cyberbullying cautionary tales, and Ask.fm as the enabler." Yes, we're missing out on making memories, having conversations, enjoying dinner, even laughing with our loved ones. But we're also exposing our children to a scary, dangerous world if we let this absorption in electronic devices to continue unchecked. So I haved decided that I will lead by example. I have deleted all those apps on my phone that would take my hours and my attention. I am also going to protect my son from the myriad of apps I barely understand and don't want to know about but must face. I want to raise a man who will interact with the world around him. I want to raise a man who will marry a kind woman, have a couple of kids and will take them to a nice restaurant, maybe in New York, and enjoy their company, talking, laughing and loving them. I don't want him to miss a moment of life. 2 OUR YUCAIPA | FEBRUARY 2015 ~ Courtney Step away from the Internet and LIVE