Issue link: https://imageup.uberflip.com/i/488296
The Middle of the Road: By Randy Peters, a middle-aged, middle-income, middle-school teacher So the title on my column says, among other things, that I am middle aged. Really? What makes me middle-aged? Is it just the number of times the calendar has flipped over? Is it because I know where I was when Kennedy was assassinated? Is it because I will only wear a shirt with a collar when I go out somewhere? I'm very lucky because on a daily basis I work with a lot of experts who know a lot of stuff and are willing to share with me. Most of society calls these experts teenagers. I asked them what it means to be middle-aged. They started telling me that making it to your forties will make you middle-aged. Some started saying that maybe late thirties will put you in the club. A very logical teenager said that you won't know when you are middle-aged until you die and others divide your final age in half. One teen spoke up and said that his mother is middle-aged even though she is in her thirties. He explained that it wasn't just her age, but her attitude that made her middle-aged. That seemed to change the conversation among my experts. "My mom doesn't seem to know what's going on in the world. She doesn't know about our world, our fashion, or our music," he said. "That makes her middle-aged." "Yeah. My mom just got a new Apple iphone and couldn't find the text app! That's middle-aged," another expert explained. I felt brave and crossed the line. "Am I middle-aged?" I asked the panel. "I don't want to hurt your feelings. But, yes you are." "Why would that hurt my feelings?" I asked. "Because it means you're old," came the reply. I blurted out. "Wait. So am I old? Or am I middle-age?" "What difference does it make?" The words slapped me across the face. I guess they saw my expression and wanted to cheer me up. One of them said, "Don't worry, Mr. Peters. You're still in your forties. You don't really get old until you are in your fifties." My 56-year-old face smiled as I dismissed the panel to go home. I began to rationalize their responses. After all, why should I believe the opinions of those that have never made a mortgage payment? These kids can't drive a car. They can't even see the good movies without a parent. Maybe their thinking has been skewed by the annoying music they listen to on their ear thingies. Maybe they need a nice Alaskan cruise to set their mind in the right place. Perhaps a better diet of more fiber and less sugar would help their thinking. If they just didn't talk so loud to their friends and started to pick up after themselves… Oh no! I sound like my dad. Maybe I have become middle-aged. I don't see that as a negative thing. I've written in this column about some of my health and professional choices. I'm actually doing some of those things. I am becoming a regular at Fitness 19. I've dropped 20 pounds so far and feel better than I have felt in years. I've agreed to do another play this spring. Granted, I'm playing a middle-aged man who is dealing with the end of his career, the advancement of his wife's career, the empty nest syndrome with the kids away at college. Like my real life, it's a comedy. But it provides me with the opportunity to memorize pages and pages of dialogue as I challenge my skills and abilities. I guess I'll embrace the middle-aged title. Because if this is middle-aged, I'm enjoying it. The young experts may think I'm actually old, but that is just because they haven't had the opportunity to experiences what the rest of us have. Whether or not we are old depends on how we look after ourselves. It's our mental fitness and attitude. As long as we continue to learn and stretch the brain, we'll always be young. And we can read the directions and find the texting app on our new phones if we want to. Keep your eyes on the road. Middle age isn't so bad considering the alternative OUR YUCAIPA | APRIL 2015 19 I asked them what it means to be middle-aged… A very logical teenager said that you won't know when you are middle-aged until you die and others divide your final age in half.