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| Four Seasons Hemet Herald | May 2016 | 25 Karaoke & Dance Party Karaoke will move to the third Sunday of May, due to the Mother's Day brunch on the eighth. So we'll see everyone on May 15, 2 to 6 pm in the Ballroom. Are you looking for fun? We have it for you at karaoke. I'm talking about the kind of fun you had the first time you took a girl to a drive- in movie. Remember? You had just turned 16, and got your drivers license, and asked the old man if you could use the car, and he said yes. And then, after working up your nerve for two days, you asked the prettiest girl in school if she would like go to the drive-in movie Saturday night, and she said yes. And you thought, "I am the coolest guy in the world. "So you picked her up Saturday at 6 pm, and raced to the drive-in. When you pulled into the long driveway, the gate was closed, and there was no one in the ramshackle ticket booth. You told the prettiest girl, "great, we're first, we'll get the best spot." She smiled at you, and you knew, that she knew, that you were the man. Her eyes sparkled, and her lips were tantalizing, and you knew that tonight, you might get to first base. Soon cars started to line up behind you, and you knew that they all hated you, because, you were first, ha,ha. And then you noticed a security guard coming towards the gate, he must have been 100 years old, 5 ft. tall, and 90 lbs., and his uniform was 10 sizes too big, his hat when he looked down fell over his eyes and you wondered how he could see where he was going. Right behind him came a lady with a bunch of reddish orange hair tied up on her head with a purple bandanna, she was carrying a cash box under one arm, a roll of red tickets in the other hand, and the longest cigarette you had ever seen, dangling from her lips. As she tried to squeeze between the ticket booth and your car, she scraped the cashbox along your fender, how do you explain that? You'll think of something. When you get your tickets you race into the drive-in, two aisles in front of the snack bar, you make a left, then down to the space that is perfectly centered to the giant screen, you adjust the car perfectly on the slope and turn off the engine. You look at the prettiest girl and say, "best spot." She smiles back at you, and you know that she is already falling in love with you, maybe, just maybe, second base you think. You say, "lets go to the snack bar before it gets crowded." On the way, she holds your hand, and you know this will be the best night of your life. At the snack bar you get a large popcorn, two giant sodas, a Butterfinger, a Baby Ruth, a box of Dots and a box of Juju Bees. All sugar. It should keep you going all night. When you get back to the car you notice the drive-in is filling up fast, on the passenger side next to you is a young couple, mid- twenties, and you're careful when you open the door for the prettiest girl, not to ding their car. On your side is a station wagon, with four screeming kids, a little bitty lady in the drivers seat, and a big fat guy that is getting in the passenger side with a speaker from the speaker pole, every five minutes he screams "shut up!" at the top of his lungs toward the backseat. "Oh great!" you think, "I'll have to keep the window shut." But nothing could ruin this night, she is even more beautiful in the twilight. As you talk, you are thinking, at what point do I make my move? As soon as it gets dark, intermission, you decide to play it by ear, and then, the screen lights up, there is a box of popcorn, a bottle of soda and various bars and boxes of candy, all dancing together on the moviescreen. The prettiest girl says, "oh boy, get the speaker." The coming attractions will come on next, you set your soda up on the dash and reach out and grab the speaker off the speaker pole, roll your window up half way, and hang the speaker on it. Then you turn the volume knob up all the way. But nothing. No sound. You want to shout some curse words, but you keep your cool, you slap the speaker, nothing, you roll down the window and smack the speaker against the pole, the fat guy looks over and says "speaker don't work?" and busts out laughing, then the four fat kids all start laughing and you turn to the prettiest girl and say, "speakers broke." The smile is gone, her eyes are calling you a dweeb, second base is gone and you don't know if you can salvage first base. As you hang the speaker back on the pole, you notice that the wire from your speaker is coming out of the other side of the pole, and the wire from your side of the pole is going to the fat guys speaker. And you yell, "hey, you've got the wrong speaker!" to which the fat guy and the four fat kids all bust up laughing again. You throw the speaker down and start the car, back out as fast as you can and slam on the brakes before hitting the car behind you, your coke leaves the dashboard and lands next to you on the seat, you jump out of the car and brush away the ice and soda to the floor board, and then from the floorboard to the ground, now all the cars behind you start honking and turning on their headlights to illuminate you, as you try to jump back in the drivers seat, your left foot slides on the ice, you hit the asphalt with a thud, you're on your back half way under the car, you glance towards the station wagon, you see four fat little faces staring out at you, all laughing, now there are even more cars turning on their lights and honking, no one is watching the movie anymore, they're all watching you. You scramble to your feet and carefully slide into the drivers seat, the prettiest girl is slouched down so low in her seat it looks like you are by yourself. You peel out searching up and down each row all the way to the front row, the only space that's left is on the far end, right behind a giant sand box, with a giant swing set, a slide, two teeter totters and 300 kids, all throwing sand in each others hair. So you drive to the back row, and work your way towards the snack bar, You find a spot right behind the snack bar and back in, you first get the speaker to see if it works. It does, you shut off the car, you glance at the prettiest girl, she's not next to you now, thanks to the wet spot, if she were any farther away she would be outside, and thanks to the snack bar delivery truck, you can only see the top half of the screen. First base is gone. You will probably never see the prettiest girl again. You would like to ask her for a sip of her coke but she is sound asleep against the window. You know, we have more fun than this at karaoke, see ya there.

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