Issue link: https://imageup.uberflip.com/i/728967
The Middle of the Road: By Randy Peters, a middle-aged, middle-income, middle-school teacher I've been writing this column for three years. A lot can happen it three years. When I started, my publisher and I had the idea that the column would be from the point of view of a middle-aged Yucaipa citizen. Because I am a middle-aged Yucaipa citizen, I believe we have hit that mark. The activities and experiences written over the years have focused on what a lot of middle- aged people experience. Many of those experiences may not change. But, people do. In fact, over the past three years of reflecting, pontificating, and sharing, I have found that I have changed. And I'm very glad that I have. When I started this column my thoughts included, "Oh, my! I am actually middle-age! My adult life is half over." There was a sense of panic as I tried to stuff as much busy-ness into the time I had left. I think my early columns reflected that attitude. But now I've noticed my attitude has changed. I've realized that the first half of my life has gone pretty well. So maybe it's time to relax and enjoy the second half. As I've been slowly making these changes, I highly recommend it for others. In one of my earlier columns, I wrote about the stress of buying an expensive pair of pants at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale last year. I was overheated and anxious to try on clothes in what had to be an under-air-conditioned dressing room. The price of those pants made me re-think our investment and retirement commitments. Well, we went back to Nordstrom this year. I tried on more clothes that most people need in their closet. This time, I bought two more pairs of pants and four shirts. The associate totaled the purchase. My wife exhaled a bit too loudly. I turned to her and repeated one of her lines, "Think about how much we saved." I've written several times about my work to get healthy and trim. I try not to panic about it anymore. I'm starting to accept who I am and how I'm made. Yes, I still want to remain healthy, but I don't want the stress of it to become obsessive behavior that may eventually become detrimental to my health. I no longer look for a quick fix to losing weight and claiming that body shown on magazine covers and reality TV shows. I didn't have that trim, muscular physique when I was in my twenties. Why would I possible think I can achieve that level of "chiseledness" by next Tuesday? I enjoy a good massage these days. My wife and I have had several couples' massages lately. It is a great way to feel pampered. No cell phones. No talking. Just relaxing. Last month we had a massage that included a facial. It was my first facial. (We had a Groupon so we had to use it, right?) That was an interesting experience. I never knew that someone would actually spend an hour trying to make my face better. Between the many lotions, hot towels, and smooth warm rocks, I actually felt relaxed. I looked in the mirror and was somewhat disappointed to find I had the same middle-aged face, but I also realized that I didn't seem to mind it as much. My wife suggested that since I stepped into the world of facials, I should throw caution to the wind and give the mani- pedi experience a try. (Yes, I actually used the term mani-pedi!) I went for it. And I have one question. Why the hell haven't I been doing this on a regular basis? Once I learned the routine of when to lift my feet from the water basin and how to control the massage chair to proper levels of exhilaration, I just let go and let some stranger take over my appendages. Granted, a beer or cocktail of choice would have brought me closer to Nirvana, but this was pretty close. As a middle-aged parent, I think a lot about my two children. They are in their twenties and entering a world of unpredictability and uncertainty at a level I never thought possible when I was their age. A college education no longer guarantees a life-time career. Finding that one person to love and hold onto for life doesn't seem to be the priority for many in that generation as it was for us. My wife and I have struggled with financial security and health issues like so many middle-aged people. I have to wonder what will be available for our kids when they get to be middle-aged. Will they find the peace of mind that comes with good health and a strong portfolio? I'm sure my parents had the same worries and concerns for us. We've made it. And because my kids are stronger, more creative, and braver that I ever was, I'm sure they will make it too. As long as they don't wait to get middle-aged to realize that sometimes we do have to take some time for ourselves. Relax and enjoy today. Middle-age Yucaipans: My advice in this, my last column, is to also take the time for yourselves. Enjoy the best years of your life. And. . . Keep your eyes on the road. It's been an honor and privilege. Reflections from the middle