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The Four Seasons at Beaumont Rainbow Group meets occasionally for casual dinners. This will allow our LGBT neighbors and friends to socialize, to update each other on what we have been up to and to discuss social issues. We don't plan a dinner in November. When scheduled, we gather in the courtyard area outside Smitty's, order whatever dinner items we wish and have dinner on the patio, weather permitting. Should you wish to enjoy your own beverages, please feel free to bring whatever you desire. If you have any suggestions or questions, please call/email Dale at (951) 797-0364 or dale.beckes@gmail.com. ~ Dale Beckes 36 FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | NOVEMBER 2016 Rainbow Group Classical Music Club We are classical music lovers with an interest in sharing our love, knowledge, and interest in classical music. We meet on the second Thursday of each month at 7 pm in the Theater. We listen to and watch musical selections on the big screen. Each month we focus on a particular work or several selections of one composer. We also discuss current musical performances in the area. We welcome new members. Contact Steve Benoff at steve.benoff@verizon.net or (310) 413-4896. ~ Steve Benoff Did you know that most historians now agree that wine was most likely discovered by a woman? Regardless of the birthplace of wine, it is commonly agreed that because women were involved in the gathering of berries, grapes, and other crops, it was most likely a woman who picked some grapes and placed them in a pottery container in a cool dark corner. When she remembered to check the container a few weeks later, she found a fermented beverage that had a delightful flavor and a pleasant inebriating effect. Thus wine was born. We are excited to present "Treasured Wine Choices of the Box Springs Goddesses" at our November Wine Club meeting. It will be an evening of wonderful wines presented by four lovely Wine Goddesses. Please join us at our November meeting on Thursday, Nov. 17 at 6 pm in the Ballroom. Bring an appetizer such as bread or crackers and cheese, your favorite bottle of wine if you wish, and a glass or two for tasting and sharing. Members $5, guests $10. ~ Gracy Luna Taste d'Vine Bereavement Group As I frequently say in this forum, I am delighted and impressed by how often group participants suggest new ways of looking at loss, grief and healing. When the Bereavement Group was first started, the literature that was used was generously given to me by the facilitator of a long standing bereavement group at another 55+ community. And that literature continues to be the backbone of our groups at Four Seasons. However, I am always looking for additional information and for literature and ideas that enrich our groups. Grief is a very painful feeling and bereavement is a long and difficult process. One of the most healing aspects of a bereavement group is finding out that one's pain, feelings, actions, thoughts, dreams, hopes or lack of hope are not strange or unusual, but are often shared by other group members. Finding out that one is not "weird" or "wrong" somehow frees participants to move through their sadness rather than getting stuck on "what's wrong with me." Most of the literature and much of the discussion in our group revolves around the process of bereavement and the various explanations about that process, leading to the lessening of pain and the hope that eventually one can move on and craft a new life without their loved one. The emphasis is on normalizing the grief experience and helping the bereaved to let go of the "I should have/should not have" thoughts that are painful and unhelpful. But one of the more recent group participants wanted something different. He wanted more than we had been offering. As an engineer, he was used to finding solutions to difficult problems and he wanted to know more ways to approach his pain and intense sadness and to help himself work through it. He took home a piece of literature I hand out and rewrote a paragraph in order to illustrate what he was talking about. At the same time I began looking for information that might compliment his efforts. And I found something. Western medicine has been looking at Eastern medicine for the last few years and has been incorporating the idea of mindfulness and the ways to achieve it into the literature. Yoga, meditation, deep breathing and more are being touted as ways for us to heal our bodies as well as enrich our lives. And the concept of gratitude and learning to incorporate gratitude into our lives appears to be the most healing practice of all. So that is what I brought to the group: a different approach to healing intense sadness. Counting one's blessings. And not just thinking the grateful thoughts. Writing them down. Several times a week, or more. Apparently our brains are altered in specific ways when our attitude of gratitude becomes part of our lives, a part of who we are. Our group will talk more about the concept of feeling grateful in the midst of grief. It will be a welcome addition to our discussions. We will be enriched. And once again I have a group member to thank for wanting something more or different and helping me help others. If you have a painful loss and want kind and understanding people to talk with, come join us. We meet on Mondays from 1 to 3 pm in the Crafts Room in the Lodge. You can just show up or you can contact me first at lauriemlarson425@gmail.com or (951) 922-0934. All contact is confidential. ~ Laurie Larson