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38 FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | JANUARY 2017 Machine Quilting The Craft Group will have its first meeting of the New Year on Thursday, Jan. 5 at 10 am. We will be planning exciting new projects for the coming year so bring your ideas and join in the fun. For additional information contact Pam Kelley (951) 769-7967. ~ Barbara Paules Craft Group Come on down to the Craft Room on Sundays from 10 am to 4 pm for more fun projects. Info., Kathy Spallino, (760) 217-8684. ~ Kathy Spallino Bereavement Group I recently heard something that really touched me. It was what is called a loving kindness meditation and I heard it in an online class about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which included techniques for retraining your brain. It seems to me that as scientists and researchers are growing older along with the rest of us baby boomers, a lot more information about the processes and consequences of aging is becoming available. Scientists want to know as much as possible about their future, too. A lot of what they are learning and teaching is that certain fairly easy practices can make a big difference in our long-term physical, mental and emotional health. Two of those practices involve cultivating an "attitude of gratitude" and making a conscious effort to be gentler and kinder to ourselves. I've written before about the benefits of taking time daily to write down things we are grateful for. Apparently a specific area of the brain is changed when we do this. The result is increased happiness and calmness. Not a bad pay-off for a bit of time out of our busy days. And the second practice, learning to be kinder to ourselves, is where the loving kindness meditation comes in. We close our eyes and breathe slowly and evenly until we feel calm. And then we imagine that we are looking into a mirror, looking into our own eyes. And then we speak the loving kindness meditation, slowly and evenly, continuing to make eye contact with ourselves. The meditation should be repeated several times. Eventually, with practice, we will be able to achieve the same calmness, peacefulness and sense of kindness just by closing our eyes and saying the mantra. Why am I writing about aging instead of grieving? For two reasons. First, we live in a 55+ community and aging is a relevant topic for all of us. Second, many of the same things that help us age more healthfully also help us process the often immense grief we feel when we lose a loved one. Getting older isn't easy. And losing our friends and family as they age too, is often a fairly common occurrence. And it's often quite difficult to access gratitude and self-love when we are overwhelmed with sadness. But maybe if these practices become part of our daily functions now, it will be easier to access their benefits when we need them more than ever. One of the things that seems to happen to all of us when we lose someone very close to us is that we feel guilty. The "should haves" and "ought to haves" appear to shanghai our brains. It is so painful to hear group participants begin to list all of the things they think they "should have" done or said, or not done and said. And it takes such effort to begin to heal these demonic guilts and shames, to try to feel grateful in the midst of immense sadness, to say kind and loving things to ourselves when we feel that we do not deserve it. So why not begin these healing practices now? And if you have lost someone or something dear to you and you think you might benefit from being with others who are experiencing similar pain but are learning how sharing that pain with others helps them heal, then come join us. We meet on Mondays from 1 to 3 pm in the Lodge Crafts Room. You can just come join us or you can contact me first at (951) 922-0934 or at lauriemlarson425@gmail. com. All contact is confidential. And in the meantime - may you be free, may you find peace, may you have grace and courage. ~ Laurie Larson

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