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38 FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | FEBRUARY 2017 "You have a story… don't be afraid to tell it." The Veteran's Club at Four Seasons was formed by Captain Dick Bentley, in September, 2013. Our mission purpose was to recognize all the veterans living here at Four Seasons. To date we have 75 neighbors recognized as veterans of the many wars we've endured. These Veterans have written brief outlines of their tours of duty, added current photos, some from their deployment, and then they were recognized in our Honor Roll website, www. fourseasonsvets.org. We have embarked upon a quest to tell our stories in print each month and invite each veteran to submit military experiences in their own words, to be shared with our neighbors in our club's monthly Breeze article. The Veterans Club is responsible for the website "Honor Roll", which is continually looking to add newsworthy items and articles of interest. Our club does not have any structured meetings, dues, or costs to be involved. Your service in the military has you paid up for life. If you would like to be recognized and included as an Honor Roll Veteran, please contact any HOA staff member, or me, Irve Sturner at irve@verizon.net or (949) 422-9969. I'm always available online or by text. You can also visit our website at www.fourseasonsvets.org. ~ Irve Sturner Four Seasons Veterans Bereavement Group Over the past decade or so, veterinarians and others who provide health care for our pets have begun to acknowledge the pain and grief experienced by pet owners when their beloved companions die. Recently, two of my friends have had to put down a cat and a dog, respectively. Both friends were terribly sad at losing their dear buddies. But each of them mentioned how touched and comforted they were by the efforts put forth by the vets and their staff. They each received a thoughtful bereavement card signed by the doctor and his staff, with personal notes written by those who had direct contact with the pet. And they were given a memento of some sort to help them memorialize their departed friend. One received a plaster of paris paw print of her cat. My friend is not sentimental, but she was touched by the gesture and has the paw print on her desk where her tabby used to perch. Along with the card and the memento, one friend received a little booklet full of sayings and drawings and The Pet Lovers Code written by Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a renowned grief counselor and according to the booklet, a pet loss expert. These are just the headings of the ten "rights" listed in The Pet Lovers Code: • You have the right to grieve the death of a pet. • You have the right to talk about your grief. • You have the right to feel a variety of emotions. • You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. • You have the right to experience "griefbursts." • You have the right to make use of ritual. • You have the right to embrace your spirituality. • You have the right to search for meaning. • You have the right to treasure your memories. • You have the right to move toward your grief and heal. All of these concepts are things that we talk about in our bereavement group. A few of these concepts are very difficult for some of the group participants to grasp. But think about it. If we have all of these rights and needs when we lose a pet, why should we not be afforded the same or more "rights" when we lose a spouse or parent or child? As a culture, grieving is not something we do easily. But a stiff upper lip really does not work very well, especially as time passes. In our group we learn to be kind to ourselves, and to allow others to be kind to us. We talk about honoring our deceased loved ones, and how to go about structuring our lives so as to best continue to live in a manner that honors what they have taught us. If any of this sounds as if it would be helpful, please join us. You will be very welcome, even if you decide not to continue. We meet on Mondays from 1 to 3 pm in the Crafts Room in the Lodge. We make the room private. All conversation is confidential. You can just come and join us or you can contact me at (951) 922-0934 or by email to: lauriemlarson425@gmail.com. ~ Laurie Larson

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