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FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | JANUARY 2018 45 Bereavement Group The more I learn about bereavement, grief and mourning, the more I learn about how difficult it is for most people to just have their feelings without judging themselves or worrying about how others see them, or how they are affecting those around them. Our culture does not view death as a natural process. Not really. Of course we know that all living things will die, but that's about as far as the conversation generally goes. We often fight death as if it is a dreaded enemy, as if it is a battle to be won or lost, as if we have failed when it ensues. Some of that is completely understandable, for death forces us to say good-bye to those we hold dear, and makes us learn how to live without them. How painful that is. But how much we add to that pain by worrying if we are crying too much, if we are crying for too long, if we should be doing something besides crying, if we are upsetting our friends and family by crying, if we should accept offers of help, if we should not accept offers of help, if we should mention the deceased, if talking about them makes others unhappy, if not talking about them makes others unhappy, if we should get rid of their belongings or keep them, if we..., if they..., if... if...if. Oh my! Our poor, tortured hearts and heads. We talk about all of these things in the Bereavement Group. Of course the goal is for each person to do what feels right to them. It is their loss. It should be their way of grieving, without all of the voices in their heads telling them what to do or not to do. It is much easier to achieve some internal peace when there are others to share thoughts and ideas with. And of course in every group there are some struggling with the same issues and some struggling with others. We help each other by talking out loud,not just in our heads. It is so wonderful to watch new participants when they realize that they are not that different from the others. Week after week, as they get to know each other, peace flows in and inner discord diminishes. What gifts we can be to each other. If you are struggling with what is the right and/or wrong way to move forward during this painful and difficult time of loss and sadness, please come join us. We will be glad to listen and glad to share what we have experienced. Our group meets on Mondays from 1 to 3 pm in the Crafts Room in the Lodge. You may just come in and join us or you may call me first if you prefer. I can be reached at (951) 922-0934 or by email at lauriemlarson425@gmail.com. All contact is confidential. ~ Laurie Larson