Issue link: https://imageup.uberflip.com/i/351884
out for being late. You're just trying to blend. Unfortunately, you got there a little bit too early. So early, in fact, that the teacher takes it as a sign of eagerness and has you pass out the syllabus at the start of class. Now everyone thinks you're the teacher's pet. The only thing you look forward to now is lunch, which could not have come at a better time. Your day has been horrible and all you want to do is check with your friends to make sure they're having a horrible time too. You search and search, but you can't find them. There are a million people in the quad. You text a couple of your friends and find out that they have B lunch when you're at A. You text your back-up friends to see if they have A lunch. Nope. So now, after a horrible day of classes, you have to sit and eat lunch alone. But, wait! Student Council is putting on a welcoming event. They're hosting an alma mater sing and dance-off, Freshman versus Seniors. You randomly get selected to be the freshman representative against the quarterback of the football team. Not quite a beard, but sideburns as well as tattoos on his impressive biceps. His singing and dancing was clearly sub-par, but everyone votes for him anyway. To be fair, as a freshman, you likely hadn't yet memorized the lyrics. Lunch was terrible, but is now over. Three more classes. Guess who sits next to you in your next class? The sideburn- having, tattoo-laden, quarterback of the football team senior. Spanish class is here and you can't roll your Rs, let alone speak a word of Spanish. Your last two classes go very well, relatively speaking, because you go unnoticed, other than saying "Here." The last bell rings and you wait for your mom to pick you up in the parking lot. The boobs and beards are hanging out by their own cars, some are making out, others are laughing obnoxiously. Your mom doesn't see you when she drives by, so she parks to come find you. She yells your name, holding a congratulatory cupcake (what? no balloons?) and asks "How was your first day of high school, Pumpkin?" so loud that you're sure that everyone stops their conversations so they can witness your personal humiliation. You sprint to the car like a dog with his tail between his legs. Once in the car, you slide down the passenger seat until you're firmly wedged in the footwell, hoping nobody sees you with her. Your mom gets in the car (is she really whistling?) and you drive away. You realize the next four years of your life are going to be hell. Okay, stop. Take a deep breath. Now that you've heard what the worst could be, you can relax, your day will be much better than this. Enjoy it. You only have one first day of high school in your life, so take it all in. It really isn't all that bad. Signed, Garrett W. Peters, Yucaipa High School Class of 2011