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We're planning informal social evenings in the spring. We hope this will allow as many of our LGBT neighbors and friends, and their friends, to get together with us. We're combining a social evening with Smitty's dinner around 6 pm, and you can enjoy your own beverages. Keep an eye on the Breeze for more information. We don't plan a dinner in April. If you have ideas, please e-mail or call us. If you have any suggestions or questions, please call/email Dale at (951) 797-0364 or dale.beckes@gmail. com; or Barbara at (951) 845-6246; email Barbara at bamerton@alumni.ucla.edu. ~ Dale Beckes 38 FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | APRIL 2015 Rainbow Group And we're singing! Beginning Monday, April 6, we start rehearsals for the 4th of July Patriotic Show. If you have been thinking of singing with us, now would be a great time to begin. Our Patriotic music is songs you have probably heard before and are easier to learn than our holiday numbers. Coming in a month or two late means you will just be warming up your voice and learning the music while the rest of the choir has been learning the songs from the very beginning. We'd love to have new people, and of course our regular members at our first rehearsal. Those of you who chatted with us on Club Day, please join us. We meet in the Ballroom near the piano. Rehearsals are on Mondays from 3 to 5 pm. Or, you can contact Barbara Wasco (951) 797-3466 or email at bawasco@dc.rr.com. ~ Barbara Wasco Four Seasons Singers After we lose someone very important to us, there is always some shock and numbness. The whole world and our place in it feels strange and out of kilter. The very space we inhabited so comfortably before is horribly changed and feels wrong and uncomfortable. Who do we fix breakfast for, or take a walk with, or talk to about a TV show or warm our cold feet against in bed? There is no cap off the toothpaste, no hogging of the TV remote, no one to give us directions when we are driving. Actions we loved and habits we found annoying have disappeared. So, what do we do now? Most importantly we need to take care of ourselves. It may difficult to sleep. We may have no appetite or find ourselves snacking all the time. And there can be physical symptoms such as a racing heart or anxiety. So first, tend to the essentials. Try to get out of bed at the usual time. Take a shower. Have breakfast. Make a to-do list. We often have so much to take care of and our grief makes us forgetful, so write tasks down. If you can or need to, ask others to help you. And include things that comfort you, such as a walk or a warm bath, on your list. Try to maintain a sleep schedule. Grief is exhausting. Take 15 to 20 minute naps. Go to bed early. If you can't sleep, try exercising more during the day (not the evening). Avoid caffeinated drinks after 2 pm, and don't drink alcohol for at least two hours before bedtime. If you still can't sleep, talk with your doctor. Keep up with or begin to exercise. Simple activities such as a walk or bike ride, or more strenuous exercise can be a distraction, something to help fill the long days. And exercise releases endorphins which elevate mood and relieve stress. Get necessary nutrition. Eat comfort foods if you have little appetite. Don't snack on junk food if you are a nibbler. Try smaller, more frequent meals if it helps. Be sure to take your medications. See your doctor if necessary. Pay attention to your health. Delay big decisions. You'll have plenty of time later. Don't sell the house, change jobs or clear out keepsakes for a year, if possible. You don't want to make a decision that you will regret later. - There are other ways to nurture yourself. We talk about them frequently in our group. If you would like to join us, please do. We meet on specified Mondays from 1 to 3 pm in the Craft Room. We make the room private. All conversation is confidential. The 12th meeting will be April 6, then the four week break ensues, then the first of 12 meetings will begin on May 11. You can just show up or you can reach me at (951) 922-0934 or lauriemlarson425@ gmail.com. ~ Laurie Larson Bereavement Group

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