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FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | JUNE 2024 49 Life After Loss In last month's article, I introduced two words: change versus transition. On the one hand, we noted the word "change" can be thought of as situational, while, by contrast, "transition" speaks more to what is psychological. Beginning this month I will conduct a "deeper dive" into the three components of a healthy transition: (1) an ending, (2) a neutral zone, and (3) a new beginning (Bridges, 2019, p. 4). More specifically, the series will seek to relate each of Bridges' terms to the idea of human loss and the quest for personal renewal. In essence, this is the truth behind the title "Life After Loss." Initially, it's important to notice that what Bridges' calls as a transitional "ending" is separate from the event itself. Although that fact may seem obvious, many people can and do overlook — simple truth. For example, American culture is prone to focus on support of the individual through the event itself. But then inevitably, as life resumes, people overlook the need for the individual's processing of the loss. For the person in the midst of grief, the navigation of an "ending" dislodges them from the structure and predictability they once knew. What was seemingly permanent has now tragically vanished. I WAS married … I WAS healthy … I WAS a mother … I WAS connected to my children. Second, the capacity of our minds and hearts to assimilate the reality of a loss, typically lags far behind the passage of time and the expectations of people. The process can last for months, even years. Thoughts and feelings require time, patience and the balm of self-compassion to find the "new normal." Friends and family, often bewildered by the pace of recovery, can be impatient. Others may require reminders that an emotional work "is in process." Often missed too is the fact that our very identities have now changed. Facts such as - I am NOW single … I am NOW ailing … I am NOW no longer a parent … I am NOW estranged from my children — are not magically achieved. The familiar adage is very true: "You can't jam a square peg in a round hole." The important take away from considering the ending — this first stage of transition — is to first recognize the need for the phase. Then, allow yourself permission to begin the journey. Should you desire a deeper understanding of what it means to live a more meaningful "life after loss" we invite you to join us. • The Life After Loss Group is about "people helping people" who have encountered any form of grief/loss in their life. Unless otherwise notified, we meet in RCN Room #3, the first and third Mondays of each month from 1 pm to 3 pm. All information is kept confidential. • If you have experienced a form of grief/loss and would like to join the group, please text/call Byron Thomsen beforehand at (909) 936- 7097 or email him at byron.thomsen@yahoo.com *Bridges, W. (2019). Transitions: Making sense of life's changes. New York, NY: Hachette Books. ~ Byron omsen We have quite a lineup of Bible books to study in the upcoming months. In May, we completed our study of the series trilogy of Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther. What a fabulous study that has been, and we learned so much! For instance, do any of you know what a signet ring is? We learned that in the Book of Esther, King Xerxes gave Mordecai his signet ring. We learned in Ezra that almost all the residents of Jerusalem were told to divorce their wives (and the children had to go too). We also learned that Nehemiah oversaw the building of the four- mile wall around Jerusalem in just 52 days. If you want to know how he accomplished that feat, check out Nehemiah in the Bible. Now as we look to our next study, we will be going to the New Testament and studying the Book of James. Because James is so packed with beautiful principles, some chapters will take up more than one week's study. After James we will study Joshua in the Old Testament, then bounce back to the New Testament and study the tiny Book of Jude. Lastly (which should take us to the end of the year), we will study the beautiful Book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah was a major prophet, and this book is longer than both Isaiah and Ezekiel. It will be such a joy to get to know each of these books better. Also on June 14, we will hold our annual summer party in the RCN after our lesson. The theme will be "Life's a Picnic." Most people would disagree with that, but if you attend the party, you'll see why this is our theme. Lunch will be provided, as well as a spectacular reading by Jan White and a musical number by Karen Evans and Bertsie Seim. If any of you fabulous Four Seasons women would be interested in joining this amazing (and talented) group of women, come by the Game Room any Friday at 10:30 to 11:45 am and join us. We'll be looking for you! ~ Eileen Gilbert-Antoine, (951) 922-6829 or egcellent@msn.com "Believe …" Women's Bible Study

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