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FOUR SEASONS BREEZE | JULY 2024 49 Life After Loss This month we focus on the second part of the transition process, what Bridges calls "a neutral zone." (Bridges, 2019, p.4). * That span of emptiness that stretches out almost endlessly before the griever. WHAT IS A NEUTRAL ZONE? For most of us, "emptiness" often means the absence of something. So when confronted with what is missing, such as human connection or purpose, we subconsciously try to find ways of "filling the inner void." Our human nature, when in the midst of emotional pain, seeks to avoid the personal work of transformation and renewal. It's hard … requires solitude … and means change. WHAT'S THE PURPOSE? The function of a neutral zone is to accomplish the inner work of self-transformation. The process is fraught with emotional pain. The lonely hours of the evening … the anguish of not hearing from children … the adjustments of a health issue. Transformation never means forgetting who we used to be … but undeniably, we are different now. PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS. 1. Accept your need to go through the process. The griever needs to surrender to the emptiness that defines the process, to stop struggling, and endeavor to find some sense. 2. Find a regular time and place to be alone. The need in the neutral zone experience is for a genuine sort of aloneness in which "inner signals" (whatever those are) can make themselves heard. The how and why will look different for every griever. 3. Begin a journal of neutral-zone experiences. The important experiences of the neutral zone are often difficult to recognize. The journal should be a reflection of a day or a week of your alone experiences: What was trying to happen? What was your mood? What were you thinking about at the time? What did you learn about yourself? 4. Discover what you want your future to look like. The unexpected arrival of a grief transition summons unwelcome change. We're different now. What do you want your future to look like? Should you desire a deeper understanding of what it means to live a more meaningful "life after loss" we invite you to join us. The Life After Loss Group is about "people helping people" who have encountered any form of grief/loss in their life. Unless otherwise notified, we meet in RCN Room #3, the first and third Mondays of each month from 1 to 3 pm. All information is kept confidential. If you have experienced a form of grief/loss and would like to join the group, please text/call Byron Thomsen beforehand at (909) 936- 7097 or email him at byron.thomsen@yahoo.com. * Bridges, W. (2019). Transitions: Making sense of life's changes. New York, NY: Hachette Books. ~ Byron omsen The "Believe…" class has truly enjoyed the study of the Epistle of James in the New Testament, and will finish on July 5. This is such a power-packed epistle, that we have practically been studying each verse in depth. The writer of James, of course, is Jesus' half-brother. It must have been so interesting to grow up in a strong Hebrew family only to learn that your big brother is in fact the Messiah, the Son of God. The Epistle of James is also called the "Proverbs of the New Testament" for its rich and doctrinally sound writing, encapsulating the many teachings of Jesus Christ. After we complete James, we will then delve into the exploits of Joshua in the Old Testament. There is so much rich history there, and it is humbling to read how closely God watched over and protected His people as they entered the Promised Land. If any of you amazing Four Seasons women would be interested in learning and growing with a group of truly godly women, please stop by the Game Room any Friday at 10:30 am to join in this study of the awesome Word of God. ~ Eileen Gilbert-Antoine, (951) 922-6829 or egcellent@msn.com "Believe …" Women's Bible Study

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