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OUR YUCAIPA | NOVEMBER 2014 11 The Middle of the Road: By Randy Peters, a middle-aged, middle-income, middle-school teacher Ah, November. The month of giving thanks, making our homes warm and inviting, showing special people how much they mean to us. Really? Let's face it. It's Food Month. Discussions between family members focus on the menu of the big day. And when we think about our families and what some of the crazy, angry, politically wrong members have done this year, it is so much easier to focus on food. Suddenly worrying about who is going to bring the marshmallow-topped yams is more important than arguing over who borrowed your wheel barrow and why you haven't gotten it back. Some food discussion and eating habits, however, can be entertaining. I know several people who are particular about the mixing of food. Items should not be touching on the plate. Barriers should be put in when possible. Gravy belongs on the mashed potatoes and should never venture toward the green beans. I've also heard quite a few discussions centering on combinations of food that should never go together, like carrot cake. The argument is usually that carrots are a vegetable; cake is a dessert. One does not have vegetables for dessert. I started to wonder if other people have made public statements about food. In very little time of searching, I found that a lot of people have said a lot of things about a lot of food. Here are some examples. Author Fran Lebowitz said, "Food is an important part of a balanced diet." Wait for it. Yeah, you got it. This should be filed in the "Duh" category. When you think about it, food is also an important part of an unbalanced diet. American Founding Father Benjamin Franklin said, "A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body." Now that's some pretty deep-thinking there. Obviously Mr. Franklin thought good food was the core of maintaining a warm home. Benjamin Franklin has always been one of my favorite Founding Fathers. (Yes, there are others.) He was intelligent, clever, and scientific. But I have to wonder why he never linked his love for food with his gout and girth. I doubt too many people will prepare a completely healthy meal for their families. Is Thanksgiving a day to worry about healthy eating? Isn't the goal of Thanksgiving to eat, sleep on the couch when the relatives aren't looking, have some pie, and start walking people to the door early so you have time to plan your Black Friday shopping adventure? Robert Redford explained his ideas on health food. He said, "Health food may be good for the conscience, but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better." I've always liked Robert Redford. Any man that can appreciate the pleasure of a dunked Oreo is alright in my book. My problem with Oreos is that they are my go-to food after a tough day. I'll pour a glass of cold milk and gather two, three, twenty or so Oreos and drown my sorrows into a glucose-spiked high. They're not good for Thanksgiving though because I don't share Oreos well, and that could ruin the tone of the holiday. You're supposed to share with family, right? Humorist Garrison Keillor shared this story about food and family. "The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose." I never did that, but once I made my brother laugh hysterically at the table when I threw a meatball him. He ducked and it stuck to the wall behind him. He laughed and tried to stop me from taking it off the wall before my parents came in. It fell off. Luckily it was the sixties and mom had some hideous wallpaper with tea pots and flowers that camouflaged the stain. The final quote doesn't fit in with Thanksgiving or family… it's a food quote from Sophia Loren. So why am I including it? It's Sophia Loren! Anytime I can include thinking about Sophia Loren, it's a great thought. She said, "Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner." Enough said. Keep your eyes on the road. Randy Talks Turkey (& potatoes, gravy, green beans… and Oreos?) $10 Off Oil Change brake speCial $89 99 expires 12/1/14 expires 12/1/14 FALL SpeciALS

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